Monday, March 10, 2014
Some people embrace change. They live for it. Others become complacent. They like security. No one way of thinking is better than another--it's all in our makeup which way we fall.
I think that I could very easily be a person who does not like change. There's something to be said for being secure, for not rocking the boat...for not taking a chance that could cause us to fall flat on our faces.
But then, deep down inside, I get this little flutter--thinking of things that could be different...better....it wakes up the little butterfly of change that I have. That little butterfly that has been hibernating for a while now. She's been buried under mounds of insecurity. Blankets of grief. Layers of complacency.
Two years ago next week, my mom died. I know that I probably talk about it alot, and I'm sorry for that. But that will always be a defining moment in my life. Not the only one, but one of many that have and will shape me forever. Another defining moment will be the day that I had Donny installed--1 year and eight days after the first anniversary of my mom's death. That is also defining moment in my life.
Now, it's that time again. Change is happening. Maybe March is the month of change for me. It seems like alot of significant things happen to me in March. I met the ELB for the first time in person on March 31. That's a huge defining moment in my life, too.
And now, professionally, I'm about to make another change--in March, no less. Go figure.
And man, is it SCARY! I've spent 4.5 years with the same place, the same people...and it's been great. But now, I'm ready. I've been through the scary stuff. I've been through the medical stuff. I'm changing myself on the outside, slowly but surely, and now it's time to change some things that have been put on hold.
After I make a phone call this afternoon, I will start the wheels in motion towards the future.
I'm scared, but excited. I've prayed about it. I've solicited advice. I've asked all the questions, and now it's time for me to take a chance on me. To not doubt myself or my abilities. To believe that I am as awesome as I think I am, that you guys think I am, that the ELB tells me every day that I am.
I'm ready, world...bring it on!
Thursday, March 6, 2014
Compulsive over eating. I do it. Not all the time... Not any more, at least. But I did tonight. I ate way to much. I regret it. But I can't exactly throw it up... Im stuck with it until it passes through Donny.
In over full and uncomfortable and regretting everything i shoved into my pie hole tonight.
Now the fear sets in... Did I hurt my band? Cause a slip? Stretch my pouch?
I hate myself sometimes.
I was able to eat three stupid cheddar bay biscuits (the ONLY reason to eat at Red Lobster) and two french fries and I was done. The rest I'm taking home (ie: grilled chicken sandwich and fries) to the ELB.
I'm so lucky that I didn't have a PB episode. And I didn't get any protien in. I might have to break down and fix a cup of chicken Unjury this afternoon.
Wednesday, March 5, 2014
Enjoy! Much better than my first chicken kale soup recipe!
Tuesday, March 4, 2014
Todays goal while at work?
Drink my protien coffee
Drink 8oz of V-8 (vitamin C)
Drink a crap load of water (going to shoot for 64oz)
Eat protien (in the form of turkey chili)
My goals for home tonight?
Try to get myself on the elliptical for 20 minutes
Eat a healthy dinner (honestly, it will probably be more turkey chili)
Drink more water (at least 32 more oz before bed)
Other than survive the work day (getting caught up after as now day is never fun), that's pretty much my whole day.
Happy pseudo-Monday (and by that, I mean Tuesday!).
Monday, March 3, 2014
I'm at home today because of snow. I'm also sick. Even if we hadn't been closed for snow I would have taken a sick day.
I'm back on the snot diet. I got down my protein coffee and some cold pills. But nothing is tempting me food wise.
I did make turkey chili yesterday for lunches this week. I know it's good but now I wish I had made chicken kale soup...I just don't have any bone in chicken make chicken stock with.. And you should always use bone in chicken for homemade soup BC it gives it more nutrition and cold fighting properties. Boneless skinless breasts are good... Just not for soup!
Hope if anyone else is in this crazy snow pattern that you are staying warm and safe!