Sunday, July 13, 2014

Blah blah blah

Busy week last week. I can finally get back to the gym this week. I was up 1.6 lbs Friday but I'm having a period from hell so that's to be expected. I also had a migraine yesterday.

I've been missing my mom alot lately. Both her birthday and my birthday are in August, one day apart... So I think that that's it's partly maybe the passing of another year.

I made a butter pound cake last night from her recipe. It was more theraputic ...measuring, mixing by hand... Escape for my brain. The batter turns this most beautiful golden yellow color and it's so thick and smooth. But it takes time to do it properly... And then a whole hour to bake.

I tried a small piece today but I'm rocking restriction so I limited myself. It was delicious.

There are alot of physical things from my mom that I'll probably lose or misplace or break as I get older... But the appreciation for a beautiful cake batter will never be one.

Monday, July 7, 2014

Day 3

Let me start this by saying...I am weak.

I fell victim to the ice cream monster again last night. It was only two bites and not a whole bowl .. But still, I am weak. I also had a hardboiled egg. Weak I tell you!

But real or imagined, I feel more restriction. I'm hoping it continues.

I made chicken salad with egg for lunch...brought two 1/2 cup portions and two boiled eggs and 1/4 cup almonds for my work food today. I'm going to the gym tonight and doing some light weights and cardio.

Dinner will probably be a shake since I won't be home till later.

I won tickets to see the new disney movie tomorrow night so I'll miss the gym. I know I know but it's a free movie sneak. How could I say no to that?

Happy Monday, y'all.

Sunday, July 6, 2014

Day 2

I'm on day two... So far so good.

Yesterday was not perfect. I had a killer migraine. I ate 5 doritos and a spoon of ice cream and drank some Diet Dr. Pepper (for the headache). I am a boredom eater, and because I was alone all day, I ate. I tried to fill the snacking void with lentil soup... And it helped... But I wanted to chew something--hence the doritos.

Today, I'm better. We slept late... Which takes away alot of hours that would normally be filled with food temptations. The ELB is home today, so that helps keep me more accountable.

I'm going to go boil eggs and make chicken salad for day three. Day four and five are back to solid protien. I have chicken breast, and ground/ cubed pork in the freezer for that.

I can honestly say that I felt like I had more restriction yesterday.. Even with just soup and shakes. Maybe it's mental, but it gave me the sense that it's working... But it might be weather changes coming in, too. I know that Friday, even though I had the chance to indulge, I wasn't able to... I had restriction then, too. Go figure.

This Friday is girls night out, and I'm already reviewing the menu for acceptable items at Bertuccis. I'm totally having some sangria, but will avoid the bread and pasta.

I have a plan. Back to packing lunch. Still to hot to walk outside, and the gym is still out until the next Orioles road trip, but I'm going to do what I can.

Day three update tomorrow.

Saturday, July 5, 2014

5day pouch test

Hollee suggested that I try the five day pouch test since I can't get a fill until September because of my new job and scheduling.

I'm going to come clean right now. I'm a bad bander. I have been drinking diet Pepsi. I have been eating ice cream. And cookies. And maybe doritos. And I haven't been exercising... At all. I'm on the carb wagon and I need to get off this ride to fat-town.

So today I'm starting the 5-day pouch test (Google it)...AKA the poor mans fill. It's supposed to do the following: shrink your pouch and increase the feeling of restriction, break the dependence on carbs, and hopefully jumpstart stalled weightloss.

I'm down with all of that!

Today and tomorrow are all liquids. I can do that. I can do anything I set my mind to. Monday starts introducing back solid proteins.

I'll keep you updated! I hope when I get on the scale next Friday that I'll see some results!

Thursday, July 3, 2014

Facing the holidays

I can't wait until next week when I actually get to go the gym on Monday and Tuesday... before the Orioles head back into town for another week. I miss the gym.... A lot. I don't feel that I'm sleeping as well...even though I'm more tired. I feel lazy and fat...not powerful and strong.

I can eat more than I should and I really need to get that under control. I've been eating alot... And I know I'm eating a lot because what goes in must come out!! And alot has been coming out!

Work is great... Still loving my new job. Things go from extreme busy to extreme boredom. Busy days are the best BC boredom days find me snacking.

Looking forward to a long weekend!

Much love and peace out! Happy 4th!

Tuesday, July 1, 2014

Updated weight

I stopped in at my surgeons office yesterday for a quick weigh in. I was at 337.2, 336.6 and 337.0. Since this is nearly consistant with my work scale, I chose to update my ticker with a newer weight.

I'm struggling right now with being able to eat more than I should. I also find myself snacking during the day when I'm not hungry. This behavior needs to stop. Now. I'm only hurting myself.

Today I had a whopper jr, small fries, and like 6 chip delux cookies...not good. Too much junk, too many sliders. I didnt make chicken salad this week, so I'm off track with packing my lunch, too. If I've learned anything from this journey, it's to be consistant.

The stupid thing is, I brought grilled chicken, falafal, greek yogurt dip, hummus, and wheat crackers for my food today. And I didn't eat it. I chose the unhealthy option over the healthy one.

It's time to retrain my brain (ReTrain your Brain!) To be healthy and not lazy. To get my butt on the elliptical when I can't go to the gym.

I've been slacking and I feel it. I have a goal to meet. Now to actually get there.

Friday, June 27, 2014

What we have here is...

... Is a good old fashioned PLATEAU.
That's right... I'm stalled. My weight is bouncing between the same 4 lbs. For 4 weigh-ins. I'm either at 241 or at 337. Only those numbers. Up one week, down the next. Frustrating.

That means that I need to change something I'm doing. More exercise. Less cookies. I don't know... It might not be the cookies.... But some changes need to be made to burst through this wall.... Just like the Kool-Aid man.

On another note, my bosses daughter wants to get weight loss surgery because she's tired of being fat. She thinks it will be a quick fix, I'm sure. She is angry that there is a waiting period of six months because she wants it NOW.

However, based in what my boss says, she doesn't exercise, and she eats fast food everyday. The doctor apparently recommended the LapBand but she wants RNY.... More drastic, faster results, less work required.

I am an expert on weight loss surgeries compared to most because of the classes I was required to take. I eant so badly to contribute my two cents.... But I can't.... I won't... Because my band is private. None know that I have it...And that's just how I like it.

But it makes me angry that this girl is lazy. She won't make any effort on get own to fix her life and she just wants a quick fix. If she won't put in the time now, how can she succeed later?

Sorry. I know I'm being sanctimonious... But weight loss is not easy... Even with surgery. It is a lifestyle. It requires exercise and diet and self denial of alot of things.

Sigh. On that note, have a great weekend.